Divorced parent of 8-year-old buys ex-wife and new GF roses for Valentine's Day : 'I have a hard time seeing how I was wrong'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 13, 2025 5:00 PM EST

I'm curious to know: is it okay to buy flowers for your ex (and mother of your child) on Valentine's Day? This poor person did exactly that, but their new GF is upset about it, and they're receiving mixed advice about the situation. 

Parents who remain friendly after a divorce are doing their best for the kids. It's in the children's best interest to see their parents getting along amicably instead of squabbling all the time. But it can also be tricky for parents to navigate the new family dynamics. There are bound to be awkward moments as the parents move forward with their lives and start fresh relationships. This parent found that out first hand on Valentine's Day, after a gesture of goodwill threw his new girlfriend for a loop.

Although this dude seems to have had good intentions, he just didn't really think through the consequences of what he was doing. As commenters lightly scolded them, it was a good reminder to prioritize the new GF, instead of focusing on the past. The parent has a big heart, and next Valentine's Day, I bet they'll get everything right for all three women in their life: daughter, girlfriend, and ex/child's mother. 

Next, check out some of these unbelievable baking mistakes fresh from the oven, like one person who admitted, "We call this the 'cookie soup' incident." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10467507712
    via Jordan González For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I have a 8 year old daughter with my ex wife Lisa. Ever since me and Lisa got together, I have always bought her a bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day, and ever since our daughter was born I have bought the two of them their own bouquet.
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 03
    This Valentine's Day it was Lisa's week with our daughter, and she knew before hand that I was going to stop by and give our daughter flowers, I don't know if she even thought or knew that she would get flowers this year to. I bought her a bouquet too because I have always done that, we are still friends and she has been an amazing mother to our daughter all years, but especially through the divorce.
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 04
    When I got back to my place I got ready to pick up my girlfriend, because we were going to a restaurant to celebrate. She also got a bouquet of roses, a necklace and dinner. When we were driving home I got a message from Lisa texting me thanks for the flowers and a picture of both her and Lisa's flowers in a vase. My girlfriend asked me why I bought flowers, I
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 05
    explained why but she has been insisting on that it was wrong of me to do so. That if I bought them to show my appreciation, Mother's Day is a more fitting day especially now when we are not together. We argued for the rest of the ride, and even though we have seen each other since and talked she is still off with me and when I ask her why she tells me that I know exactly why she is like she is.
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 06
    I can see why she would think that Mother's Day is more fitting, but I do buy Lisa flowers on Mother's Day too and have always done so since our daughter was born. I have a hard time seeing how I was wrong or if I even was wrong at all, Lisa tells me that she understands my girlfriends point of view but that she appreciates me giving her flowers either way.
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 07
    AITA for giving my ex wife flowers on Valentine's Day? Edit: I will talk with my girlfriend and explain to her that I understand that I messed up, and that she should be the one (and my daughter) to receive flowers. I should have got it when she talked with me about it, not having to have strangers tell me why and how I was wrong, but I also guess that this is what this is for.
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 08
    I also don't think that my girlfriend is either jealous or insecure, we have not been dating for that long and having your partner do something that is viewed as a romantic gesture for their ex is upsetting. Even though it was not my intention to do it as a romantic gesture, it still is. Thanks to all of you, whether you thought I was in the wrong or not!
    via u/throwaway92736261
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10467505664
    via Jordan González For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10

    The simple, straightforward answer:

    Life_Initiative_9393 Buy your girlfriend flowers on valentine's day and buy mother of your child flowers on Mother's Day.
    via u/Life_Initiative_9393

    No harm, no foul: just don't do it again!

  • 11
    halfblindbi Valentines day is romantic by design, so giving someone flowers on valentines day will always be considered a romantic gesture. You should have given the flowers on mother's day YTA
    via u/halfblindbi
  • 12
    [deleted] Agreed it's actually inappropriate, Mother's Day is acceptable to continue but not Vday
    via u/[deleted]
  • 13

    The parent probably just got flowers in an off-the-cuff gesture without anticipating the ripple effect

    [deleted] Very, slightly YTA. First it's refreshing to read about amicable co- parenting. Your GF however has a right to feel like maybe you and the ex aren't 100% over, at least in your heart.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 14
    Decision time, either you are all in with your GF or not. If so, take the L and apologize and tell her she's right and you'd not thought about your actions enough. No excuses, you F'ed up. Apologize for making her feel like she's having to compete. Good Luck
    via u/[deleted]
  • 15
    AlpineLad1965 You buy a woman that you divorced flowers on Valentines Day? The holiday traditionally reserved for lovers? And wow, your girlfriend got upset? And this surprises you? You are not only clueless but also an AH.
    via u/AlpineLad1965
  • 16
    Let me ask you this, if Lisa gets a boyfriend, how do you think he will feel about you getting her roses?
    via u/AlpineLad1965
  • 17
    Important_Sprinkl... If you said they were from your daughter, maybe okay. I'd still say a romantic holiday is not the one for buying flowers for an ex on. Mother's Day for sure, but not Valentine's Day.
    via u/Important_Sprinkles9
  • 18
    sffood I think it's sweet. I also am 100% on your girlfriend's side for this. Valentine's Day is for lovers. I can totally understand having a tradition of getting. flowers for your daughter but I'd draw the line at the
    via u/sffood
  • 19
    ex. Her new lover can get her flowers - not you. Not normal, and totally disrespectful to the current GF. Knock it off.
    via u/sffood

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valentines romantic kids romance wife gift girlfriend husband valentine flowers love daughter roses Valentines day
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